We have in company today a raging Himalayan rainstorm. I hope you breathe it in with your arms wide open. Sweeping winds, bellowing trees, and thunder claps loudly frictioning against black clouds: it’s the best time to go looking for wild elephants you know, and also the most dangerous. I’ve never been able to see one till date though. Ganga will be unusually muddy tomorrow because of the deluge, but everything will be wondrously fragrant.
One of the many things I love about this place is the erratic variety of people I get to meet. This morning, a little kid of no more than 6 perhaps, sat down beside me and asked ‘what are you?’
I was working on my laptop, and I can only assume that he had never seen one before. When I could only respond with a thoroughly quizzical look, he went on to patiently repeat his question in Hindi. आप क्या हैं?
I tried correcting him.
Who* are you?
आप कौन* है?
But he adamantly stuck to his own version.
I hesitated and said ‘human’
And he asked again, ‘what does that mean?’
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the little boy’s curiosity. But in the back of my mind a realization, that I did not have a real answer to his question, did not escape my notice.
I put my laptop aside, took him in my lap, tickled him, asked him his name and who made him so enormously cute; a little giggling and laughing and I diverted his attention and returned him to his mother, thereby saving my ass and allowing the kid one more day of life in the illusion that adults do have all the answers to his questions.
None of this stopped me the question from ricocheting in my head all day, of course. And at the best of my humble capacities of logical deduction I arrived at a singular conclusion. It may not be an answer to the little boy’s question, but it is consciously makes me more self aware.
I am what I am, and what I am is more than this body that encases me. This body is but a case, a comfortable cage; it houses me, and gives me shape. And with that as it is, I know myself to be more.
I am more than my body.
I may not know what I am, but I know what I am not.
I am not my body.
I am beyond
The icy tempest gives my mind some respite for it numbs my thoughts and spreads like a northern melody through all parts of me. I await your news.