The Spitting Syndrome

If ‘Spitting’ had been an Olympic event, we would’ve earned a Guinness book record for being the invulnerable and permanent defending champions. Yes, I can say this with the same amount of surety as I can say that Manmohan Singh will never be a radio jockey.

We Indians spit a lot; and we spit everywhere. Some of us choose to spit in dark secluded corners to preserve whatever little dignity our image carries and someone of us don’t bother to hide our true person. The government shouldn’t really bother painting the staircases of its offices; our spitting masters paint it very skillfully with 50 shades of Red. The amount of spit an average Indian can generate in a day is truly amazing!

Should you know, Spitting isn’t nearly as easy as you would assume! How many can produce that dark rich shade of splendid red with such regularity? And how many of them can properly aim their spit at their favorite corner of world? And not everyone can create the picturesque designs and patterns our spitters do; that too with an amazing grace! They have Dhoni’s confidence, Dhawan’s energy, Sachin’s talent and Sehwag’s uniqueness in their spitting. The habitual ease with which the sparkling red shower emerges from their mouths and graffiti-fies our walls is an extraordinary phenomenon. Believe it or not, there is an ultra-large amount of geometry, physics, chemistry, interior design and creativity involved here. It’s almost like a full time job without any pay! But the best part is that this phenomenon is absolutely “Made in India”!

However observant cynics (like myself; since I don’t have much to do in life than analyze and criticize how other people live) interpret this Spitting Syndrome that has gripped the country, a little more differently and harshly.

Are we spitting out just phlegm and ‘tambaku’? Or something else? Are we guilty of only staining our roads and buildings with brilliant hues of red or something more? Unlike most questions about the psyche of Indian citizen, these questions can be answered.

Any sort of addiction is understood to be supremely selfish; for the consumers do not care of their health and neither of their loved ones.
And what will be the result of smoking, drinking, chewing and consuming selfishness all day, if not the sickness and addiction of apathy?
With the advancement of modern technology, you don’t even have to literally abuse any substance to suffer from this disease of apathy!

It’s contagious and as popular as Sunny Leone. We see our neighbor suffering from it; we get inspired and jump into the bandwagon without knowing where it’ll lead us. To not care is to be “cool”, today.
Why are the corners of government buildings or public institutions only, stained with the spittle offerings of our pleasant countrymen? Is it not the very proof of the sea of selfishness and apathy our system and our public is drowning into? We treat our national problems with the medicine of apathy and relief that “Thank God! It wasn’t me!”


A young woman got brutally gang-raped on a busy street in Kolkata? *THUU!*

More than a thousand birds are being brought in for manja-afflicted injuries during Uttarayan in Anand area only?  *THUU!*

The son of a rich businessman killed two people while driving in an allegedly drunk state and no one filed a FIR? *THUU!*

A foreign leader called our Prime Minister a “dehati aurat”? *THUU!*

Proof has been obtained that a western Superpower has been illicitly spying on our web-based communications? *THUU!*

Many students died after eating the food provided by the government schools in Bihar? *THUU!*

Quite a lot of our people in our north-eastern states don’t know if they belong to India or China? *THUU!*

A group of young terrorists entered our country and blasted our commercial capital? *THUU!*

Children are abused and forced to work under hazardous circumstances in fireworks manufacturing industries for our Diwali? *THUU!*

The janitors at corporate houses are paid more than elementary government school teachers? *THUU!*


In this state of our country how can we be surprised if we don’t get anything beyond a Babaji ka *THUU*llu?

(Thank you Apocalypse Narcissist for the featured image)


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